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I discovered a treasure trove of information about transsexuals and sex change operations. I found numerous sites of transgender fiction and I pored over the stories. I felt a curious satisfaction - the stories _felt_ good to read. It was as if something in me was being satisfied by those tales of magical and science-fiction sex changes - satisfied in a way no woman could ever come close to. I read tales of force feminization and bondage, of implants and she-males. They were very powerfully arousing, and they released a lot of pent-up sexual energy through the fantasies they held.In my real life, I went on living my unsatisfying life. There were women - always women - who were so pleased to let me love them. They were so satisfied by my attention. Still, none brought me joy, let alone even a contented satisfaction. My ability to perform sexually was, curiously enough, actually increasing, but only when I imagined myself in the situations in the stories while I was making. Slowly pushing along the row of seats, away from him, Sarah moaned. No... no this... this wasn't happening. He couldn't have gotten on the train, not while it was moving!Standing with his back to the closed door, hands still in his pockets, the man regarded Sarah as she slowly moved from seat to seat, until she bumped against the end of the row. As he watched, she suddenly got up and ran in the other direction, her heels clicking against the linoleum of the floor of the car. Breathlessly gasping, fearing an asthma attack, Sarah yanked the handle, jerking the door open and rushing out to the next one. Between cars momentarily, the loud noise of the train echoing off the tunnel walls, Sarah grasped the handle of the other car and yanked it open, running in. This car was empty also, and Sarah suddenly realized she was running away from the car the conductor was in - she was heading towards the rear of the train. She ran through the car, too scared to look back over her shoulder although.
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